u never do get it.
eva since the anniversary,the brunei boyfriend has forgotten completely bout the monthly tenths.
pig.
grumbles.
and he thinks diamonds are too expensive.
double grumbles.
so after watching tht seven pm korean soul switching show on channel u.
i came to the conclusion tht guys love their mistresses more.
coz.... they stand a chance of losing their younger prettier girlfriends whereas wives are somewad bound by marriage contracts. plus u havta fight to get ur hands on those pretty things.
totally irritating.
triple grumbles.
o wells. sometimes i wonder if im actually in a relationship, how do u totally know if it is anyways.
and then u take a deep breath and realise ure still living, and theres no other possible way for it to be.
that choices have to be made all the time.
that all i try is to get thru.
that maybe just maybe i will get filled up by something someday.
that lucky stars should be counted or at least glimpsed at.
that if i could i would.
that maybe i shldnt have left.
that the wall i have now should not have been there.
that i have to move on.
maybe if all the comparing stopped. if i could learn, to love, unconditionally. it would be better in life. and please let me figure out what on earth im looking for.
but life is disgusting.
and the day i find it wonderful would be the day i got filled up.
so just grit ur teeth n wait.
